Thursday, September 1, 2011

It is simple.... I was called to do this

Can you imagine if God turned his back on us when we failed him?  Can you imagine what it would be like if we didn’t have a savior?   I can't imagine what it would be like to know that there was no Grace or mercy or unfailing Love?   I thank God everyday for his unfailing love for me.  His Grace when I fail him and his mercy when I deserve so much more reprimand than I receive.  I don’t even want to imagine what it would be like to not have a savior, a Redeemer, a Friend because I assure you I would not be here today if it had not been by the grace of God.

I have been told on many occasions in the last year that my husband and I are saintly, amazing, we have done the impossible.  We have been asked,  "how did you do it?"  “Why did you do it?”
  “Are you going to do it again?”  We have had many more questions asked of us surrounding the adoption of our girl as well.

Recently I was asked by a therapist “How do you love her even with all the hurt and upheaval she has caused you”.  I looked at the therapist and said “It is simple; I was called to do this”

I don’t believe that I would have chosen this path in my life had my body functioned the way that it should have and I had biological babies.  I certainly tried to avoid even in the adoption process a child with Little R’s conditions, but God had other plans for my life.

I was called to parent this child. God knew that I was capable of more that I could imagine.  He was calling me to something bigger than myself.    I was called to love a traumatized child unconditionally and give her my unfailing love.  I was called to provide grace and mercy to her during times when others turned her away and I was called to be her mother, teacher and friend. 

I do not see myself as amazing or saintly.  I am far from that, and I fail daily, but I do see myself as a child of God called to a task of helping this little girl heal from a traumatic past and grow to be a loving woman and child of God herself.

 How can I not love her, God made her.   He knew her before she was even born. He knew everything about her and still does.  He loves her even more than I do….her current condition is the result of human mistakes and she is paying the price.  I am to love her with the same intensity that God loves her and give her the Grace she needs to fail and try again.

I have the best job in the world.  I get to show my little R what a mom should be and I get to show her what true love is and I get to show  her that the world can look a lot different than she had envisioned and experienced.   So it is simple... I was called to do this. This is my calling in life.  Not to travel to remote parts of the world, or preach, or be someone amazing on TV, it isn’t even to sing which is my passion. It is to simply be a mom to Little R and help her heal and grow. 

Will we adopt again… well… my heart says yes but we will have to wait and see what God says as the next year or so goes by.


Steph said...

I love that simple statement, "I was called to do this." Motherhood is an amazing calling. Not an easy calling, but one that is so amazing, so wonderful and one that I would never change...ever! God gives us the strength to teach, train and raise the children He blesses us with. For that I am thankful :)

kathy55439 said...

I also feel called to do this.... I am still waiting on Gods timing

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