One year ago in the middle of a blizzard we adopted our
girl. I remember when we were in front of the judge she asked us if we
understood the complexity of what we were about to do and if we understood that
this was a permanent never to reverse commitment. She knew our Little R’s
history and understood at great length the challenges that we had already endured
and what we were up against with little R.
I remember looking down at the document
as I signed thinking “here we go, bring it on”.
I don’t think I really knew what I was getting
into when I said that, but here we are in this life that some days I pray we
will just make it hour by hour. Life has
not been easy during this past year, and
at times I feel like I am pulling out my hair and losing my mind all at the
same time. Struggles with attachment,
trust and control are just a few of the things I attend to each day. We take 10 steps forward and 12 steps back
sometimes daily.
Despite all of that I would not change that day in the court
room a year ago and I would sign that document again even knowing what I know
now. This little girl needed a family. Despite what we deal with on a daily basis she
needs a family just like anyone else. I
believe with all my heart she needs us and we have a responsibility to help her
to heal, and grow into a beautiful young lady.
If I can teach her just a few things as her mom it will be
to respect herself, respect others, do her best, and most of all honor God with
all her heart. I hope that I can
instill those things in her as we go through the years.
As adoptive parents we have extra responsibilities to our children. To be open and good
listeners. Willing to accept them and their past. Allow there past relationships to exist within your family. Willing to be vulnerable and
take on our child’s pain and have patience to allow the process to work and
prepare that the healing is very slow.
If you have the expectation that it is going to be a quick process then
you will be disappointed and not helpful in their healing process. Give yourself credit that you are doing your
best. Take time for yourself and allow
yourself the time you need to rest so you can be 100% present for your child. They
need you desperately to be present for them.
So here we are 1 year later and I look forward to seeing
where we are a year from now and hopefully heading back into the courthouse
again in the next year to two.
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