Friday, February 25, 2011

A Father's Love

When I watch Mike interact with Little R I fall in love with him all over again.  He is a gentle, quiet, soft spoken, and unassuming person.  From day one he was smitten with Little R. 
We were told by all the different powers that be that Little R would probably have the hardest time attaching to me because she had so many failed mom figures in her life.  The only two father figures she had was a stepdad and one foster dad for a few months.  Almost immediately into our visits with her we noticed that it was not going to be me she struggled with, but Mike.
When Little R moved into our home she began to manipulate and do everything in her power to keep Mike and me apart.  We fell for it at first seeing it as her needing me more.  Then we started to notice the deliberate way she would push between us or step between us if we tried to get close.
Little R began to disrespect Mike is significant ways as the weeks went on.  When he would arrive home at night she would scream at him as he came in the house and say “go away we don’t want you home”.  “No one wants you here”.  She would tell him “don’t touch me” and pull away if he tried to be affectionate toward her.   She wouldn’t obey or listen to him and she refused to sit next to him, ride in a car with him, and ostracized him as much as possible.  He would smile through all of this and continue to show her that he loved her.  Rarely did we go through a day when she would allow him to hug her or touch her in a loving father way.    He just smiled and continued to pursue her and love her through this.
The weeks turned into months and the disrespect became worse.  We did discipline during these times but it never got through to her.  Until One Day………
It didn’t matter the situation or the venue but Little R would throw temper tantrum rages.  This day was completely targeted at Mike, which started in the car and ended in the house.  She screamed and hit him and head butted him and at the top of her lungs screamed "stop touching me, get away from me, I hate you, I hate you”.  Mike was sitting with her on the couch. We had been at this tantrum for well over a hour, and he was trying to calm her down. This was our normal process.  He released her immediately and walked away and disappeared.  Little R continued to rage I sent her to her room and shut the door.   I went to look for Mike to find him lying on our bed sobbing uncontrollably.  He said “I can’t do this, she doesn’t want me, she doesn’t love me... I don’t know what to do”.   After a long time of talking and calming down he came out and showed me the most amazing thing.  He went and  embraced Little R and forgave her, and the healing began.
After all of this happened it reminded me of the love that our Heavenly Father has for us.  He loves us unconditionally; he cares for us and wants the best for us.  He desires for us to love him and follow him.  How many times though do we say “I don’t need you, I don’t want you in my life”.  How many times do we turn our backs on him and forget he is even there?  How many times do we forget what he has done for us and the amazing gift of eternal life he has given us?  I thought about how he must cry and weep for us and for the lost and say “they don’t want me, they don’t love me. What else can I do?”   Every time I am tempted to turn away from God and do my own thing I am reminded of Mike on our bed weeping and a Fathers Love.
John 3:16-17 --NIV   For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not parish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world,but to save the world through him.

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