Wednesday, February 23, 2011

God had other plans

Like most little girls I had a dream of becoming a mom.  I dreamed about how I would look pregnant, what my baby would look like, what I would name our babies.  What I didn’t anticipate was that the plan God had for my life was quite different than my own.
I met my husband when I was 20 years old.  We married two years later and within a year decided to start trying to build a family.  I struggled with cycle issues and pain and didn’t think anything of it until my cycle ended all together.  For two years I lived in silence afraid to talk to a doctor about my issues.
Finally I sought out the advice of a doctor and was diagnosed with PCOS.  I struggled for years with cysts and pain and infertility.  Infertility treatments were tried and all failed.
Again…God had other plans.
On our 10th anniversary and 9 years of trying to conceive we decided that we would pursue adoption, we decided to go through the foster adoption program with our county but only take newborn to 5 year old children.  We didn’t want any children with disabilities or attachment issues, or delays.
Clearly God had other plans.
The wait began, and we waited almost a year with no calls.  I remember feeling the tug to make some changes to our profile so we changed our age to go up to 10 years old. Not something we really wanted but we kept to our plan and said still NO disabilities, attachment issues.
We waited another 6 months with no calls. In December 2010 we told DCYF to put our profile on hold and not consider us any longer we were going to save for an international adoption.
In January 2010 I attended a prayer summit for 4 days.  During time of reflection I poured my heart out to God and gave over all my control of having a family.  I cried out to Him and said “be in control, I can’t do this anymore”.   I left that summit with such a sense of peace for the first time I can remember I truly gave over to God my desires and left them at the feet of Jesus.
God’s Plan was at work; my heart began to soften to allowing God to open the doors to building our family.
Two months passed, and in Late March 2010 I received an email from the local DCYF office letting us know that they were aware that we wanted our license put on hold but they had left it open and had a little 8 year old girl who needed a mom and dad and they thought that we would be perfect for her. They shared that she was troubled and had a tremendous amount of attachment issues and also had several learning disabilities as well as behavioral issues.
My first reaction was to say “NO! We told you we didn’t want these issues” but I stayed quiet feeling that God was at work in this situation. Mike and I agreed to learn about her.  Every disability we had requested not to accept this little girl had, but her story touched us in a way we would never have imagined.
We left the intake meeting and in the parking lot Mike looked at me and said “she is our daughter, the one we have been waiting for”.
In April 2010 our new life began and changed forever when we met our New Daughter “R” for the first time.  She was a hurt, angry, fearful little girl who wanted so badly to have a mom and dad.
What we didn’t know was that the journey to becoming her mom and dad was going to be a long and rocky Road.
God had other plans.
But Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Luke 18:16

1 comment:

marythemom said...

Oh the plans we make. I know God sees them and just laughs and laughs! His plans alway turn out so much better than ours (although at the time it seemed like the end of the world when I didn't get what I wanted).

Mary in TX

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