Saturday, March 19, 2011

" I am ready now "

I was sitting on the couch in our living room reading a book in late November and Little R came out and sat next to me.  She looked like she really wanted to say something to me so I put my book down and looked at her.  Actually I was concerned she had done something wrong and was working up the courage to tell me but that wasn't it at all.   She was quiet for a moment and then our conversation went something like this:
Little R:  If you had given birth to me would you have taken good care of me?
Me: (with tears in my eyes) Oh buddy, I would have taken such good care of you?
Little R: Would you have fed me and changed me and sang to me and stuff?
Me: All of that and more.  I would have rocked you and coo’d at you and sang to you ect..
Little R: Then why didn’t God put me in your tummy instead?
Me: (Crying now)  I don’t know the answer to that, but I can tell you that God brought you to us now and I will take good care of you.  I do know that God had a plan and I am certain that He knew what he was doing and especially the part of Him bringing you to us.
Little R:  Will you love me forever and take care of me?
Me: Forever and ever.
Little R became really quiet for a moment and then looked up at me with her big hazel eyes and said: “ I am ready to be adopted now”  
This is the day that true healing began.  I don’t know what the future holds for all of us but I do know that a healing bond has begun.  It is so hard for foster kids to trust and love you and believe that you will be there for them and will not hurt them. They have to learn trust and you have to earn trust from them.  As I work at my job of earning her trust she is working each day of giving a little more and this particular day was so powerful to see her drop her walls a little and say she wanted to stay.

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