I think therapists have an extremely tough job. They listen day in and day out to people pour out there complaints, sadness, frustrations and hurts and then expect the therapist to provide some word of wisdom or to ultimately figure out a way to “fix” a person. I am extremely thankful for our therapist who works with hurt kids. What a job to be able to navigate the communication barrier with children and to be able to help them to process their feelings. I know that is what we pay them for but it still amazes me. We are working with a therapist who is directly involved with the work of children with RAD and other early childhood traumas. Although I think she is great a comment she made to us in October made me really think.
We had been in weeks of violent outbursts and frustrating interactions with Little R. We had a conversation with her therapist about her progress. She sat Hubby and I down and said “you don’t have to do this, you should not be in this type of violent relationship, and this little girl probably cannot exist in a family environment and I think you should turn her back over to DCYF before it gets worse”. Now we had been thinking the same thing and struggling with our decision on what to do, but when the therapist told us this I became in my mind quite defensive. I thought who are you to think that she can’t exist in a home and she is our daughter and we are not trading her in like an old car. The difference between our home and other homes is that she is in a Christian home and she is under the shed blood of Jesus Christ and through him we can do anything and he can HEAL this little girl and he can HEAL her of her rage and anger and fears and I am not giving up on this kid. It was at that moment that I became the protective mother hen to this kiddo and got the mindset that “I will show them….” And we will show them…. Years from now when we look back at these days I will remember and say “we showed them…”
Ultimately, no therapist is going to be able to do the work that is needed to help our family heal. We will need to do the work and the best therapist of all is going to be US as a family loving and helping our girl heal and God who is the ultimate healer. I don’t doubt for a minute that he is going to touch this little girl and help her to thrive. She may never be “normal” in the sense that society puts on people but I do believe that she will have a voice and that one day she will be able to use her voice to share her story and help others.